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Comments (24)


"Do you still have Bugs Bunny cell number, pardner?"

Mr Michael:

Dude, I'm tellin' ya, no matter how tall you are I'm not gonna pick you for my team unless you trade those Converse in for a pair of NIKEs, okay? Those are just... you know... not NIKEs and stuff.

He could never understand why the other kids didn't want to play with him - after all, they were in the same class, right? Miss Watson? Fifth grade? Room 406?



Uh, Josh? I think you'd better give him back his balls.

Put it up and realized it was more of a caption than a quote (sue me) so here goes:

"Dang. Those Flintstones did you good."


"You're right. You're angry, and I still don't like you. Boogerbreath."


"Tommy, I told you not to take Jimmy's ball. Now you have to deal with his mother."


I don't care what your birth certificate says, you still can't play in our age group.

"I know Donny was hoggin' the ball, but you didn't have to eat 'im".

Wow Jimmy, Coach was right about those steroids!


Why does it say "Doesn't play well with others" on the front of your T shirt?

"Sorry Susie, but ever since you ripped off my left arm playing Red Rover, my mom says I can't play with you anymore."


"Two-on-one? To 20 and you spot us 18? Okay. But only if we get the ball first."


"Dude, I don't care what the FDA and the dairy says, there is something in the milk your drinking."


"Timmy, I'd like you to meet No-Neck. He's another one of those 'scholarship' college athletes who was caught in the retroactive-clause dragnet of No Child Left Behind."

Timmy. "College? Geez. I'll bet he had a shirt of many colors."


"We never should have let the kid with the stuttering problem play that Zoltar machine."


"Yet even more proof that Hollywood has become a creative cesspool...Shrek: the 'Hood."


"I'm not the least bit surprised that he's the last of the Mohicans. Who would breed with THAT?"


Oh yeah. Well you may be big and ugly but I can beat you with one hand tied behind my back.


GLENDALE, CA (AP), 2006.01.11, 9:11 PM PST

DreamWorks studios, bowing to pressure from the African-American community lead by Al Sharpton & Jesse Jackson & his Rainbow/PUSH Coalition, will be revamping Shrek: The 'Hood.

Sharpton & Jackson derided the studio for producing a Shrek sequel that used numerous urban sterotypes, & because the studio had "bowed to marketing pressure & taken a character of color--even though he was green--& tried to 'pass' him as white."

Another notable activist called the film "yet another cruel hoax perpetrated by the man to keep the brother down."

As of press time, the story line is being re-worked, & the tentative title is Shrek, the 'Hood: Shrekkie Gets His Green Back.

This is a PARODY. I am not a racist. I believe that there is only ONE race--the HUMAN race. If you find this parody offensive, get over yourself...you bouffant-headed race pimp.

Special Ed:

Dude, it's a foul! Now spit out my arm.

Special Ed:

Your barn door's open and your cows hanging out.

Special Ed:

You're the only guy in school who can get away with wearing a "Hello Kitty" t-shirt.

You want to put our basketballs where?


John Cox is a painter, cartoonist, and illustrator for hire. For information about purchasing existing work or commissioning new work, contact him by e-mail at john555cox [at] hotmail.com.

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