Rumor has it Alphie became a 'community organizer'.

Didn't accomplish anything and therefore got elected to the state legislature.

Where he continued his career of non-accomplishment.

Since Alphie never voted anything up or down, he was everyone's friend and moved on to the state senate.

A few years later, he took his vision of 'what-ever', nationally.

Today he's "the most powerful man in the world".
Who yet has to accomplish something on his own.

HEY G

Wow. That's 180 degrees different from my intention.

So Alfie is a loser who accomplishes nothing? Where does that come from?

Alphie eventually found his way back to society and re-engaged in his fight against the materialism of Christmas.

He first went to K-Mart and while starting his oratory in defense of Christmas promptly got crushed by a fleet of shopping carts pushed by crazed soccer-moms speeding to a blue-light special on Mortal Kombat-II video games.

to be continued by the next poster...

THE SEQUEL: ALPHIE THE ELF FOR DUMMIES (the Abridged Version, Because the Full Version was Basically the Same Two Paragraphs Paraphrased About 742 Times, it Was So Thick that Most People Were Afraid to Even Pick it Up, & the "Christmas" Part had to be Edited Out so that Secular Humanists Wouldn't Start Wailing Uncontrollably & Curl Up in the Fetal Position) & IF YOU HAVE TO ASK WHY THERE'S A SEQUEL WHEN HE WAS NEVER HEARD FROM AGAIN, YOU'RE PROBABLY JUST A TEA-B___ING HOMOPHOBIC (No irony there, is there?) RACIST WHO'S TOO STUPID TO VOTE (With a foreward by Flinchy)

The next time,
Alphie the Elf clarified his position:
Yeah, free-market capitalism drives the world,
BUT LIFE IS ABOUT MORE THAN "STUFF"
AND STROKING YOUR OWN EGO.

The only real charity is voluntary.
Compulsory charity is theft (by mandate or majority vote).
Truly generous people give of themselves,
and they do so because
the mind is a spiritual & relational entity.

Thus ended Alfie's prospects for a career in politics
as well as in televangelism,
& he gleefully forfeited his membership
in the Ayn Rand Society.

FIN (We used "FIN" to broaden our appeal to European-Socialist wannabes)

Sounds like this was one Alphie who really knew "what's it all about".

HEY DOC anD T

Just a little gibe over differences. I thought an elf taking a anti-consumerism stance was funny, in a Woody Allen-meets-Rankin Bass kind of way.

And Alphie probably would have screamed in horror because of the riots and fights to get the reissue of the Air Jordans today.

There is something even more insidious than the toxic materialism - it's the extreme selfishness that drives people to bust down doors, get into fights and spray pepper spray just to be the first to get a specific item.

Like Alphie, sometimes I think there is just too much to weep about.

JOHN:

Got it. I thought I'd throw in a weird schizophrenic riff.

No offense intended to anyone. Sincere apologies for it coming off that way.

DR. BOB et al:

The "Jordan Partiers" are the logical end of the entitlement/redistributive mentality.

Selfish prolonged adolescents surrounded by material comfort who have no concept of the work, thought, & sacrifice it took--over many generations--to create the comforts they enjoy, take for granted, & therefore believe they are entitled to as a "natural" sense of being.

This is the generation that has the potential to crush 200+ years of progress in the figurative blink of an eye.

Mmm... mmm... mmm... IT'S A MADHOUSE! A MADHOUSE!

Anybody else have the urge to dress up like injuns and dump a boatload of coffee overboard?

I think SA just spammed us.