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Comments (13)


"How'd ya like me to set you up with this heifer from Jersey?"


Put the guy in a three-piece suit and change the book to "Federal Regulations" and you'll have MY problem covered...

And if you do, I'm copying it to my poor little blog.

Thanks for all of your work!


Doc Al:

"When did they start putting centerfolds in the Farmer's Almanac? I just wish that staple wasn't in the middle of her third udder!"

Doc Al:

"See this diagram from the American Beef Association? It shows that the area just above your ribcage makes the tenderest steaks."


"Okay, seein' as this is your first matin' season, here's what you do....."

Wish other people could make such a good site. Best regards! Gregory I. Hinson.

Dr. Bob:

Gee, get here late and all the good lines have been taken.

"It says right here in the ad Ralph, "Beef, it's what's for dinner."

"It says right here - Black Angus is the best for steaks, but you, sir are a Hereford."

"You getting horny yet?"

"Don't get so excited, those teats are surgically enhanced."


Rats! Dr Bob beat me to the boob joke!


Young man just where did you acquire this .. er .. a .. literature?

Ed B:

Do you see anything in here about an earthquake in Virginia? No! And that's why you're fired as editor of the 2012 edition.

Ed B:

Look, it says here plain as day: "Red sky at night, shepherd's delight". Now go back and tell your ovine buddies to get their wooly butts over here.


"Weeeellll dogie! He's fallen a long ways since Earth in the Lurch, but if this here Al Gore feller is right, I'm gonna be expectin' you gals to be squirtin' out crèmes brûlées."

Tom Wms.:

Look what the Almanac says about stock yards! I you don't start producin', I'm sendin your ass to Omaha!!


John Cox is a painter, cartoonist, and illustrator for hire. For information about purchasing existing work or commissioning new work, contact him by e-mail at john555cox [at] hotmail.com.

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