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Posted on June 24, 2010 12:06 AM
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"The DOT caught me giving oral inspections."
Mechanic: "Your headlights work?"
Mechanic: "Brakes doing OK?"
Mechanic: "All your signals working?"
Mechanic: "HEY FREDDIE! THIS ONE PASSED. PUT A NEW STICKER ON IT."
Dooooze wuuuuh duuuuh daaayze!!!
June 24, 2010 2:57 AM
June 24, 2010 02:57
"I stopped a modicum of oil from reaching Gulf Coast beaches without spending 429 days carefully studying the feasibility of every possible option or theory & without obtaining the necessary permits from the Federal gubmint."
June 24, 2010 5:26 AM
June 24, 2010 05:26
"I got honest-to-goodness pictures of Obama screwing the pooch--& I'm talking Bo here."
June 24, 2010 5:39 AM
June 24, 2010 05:39
I lit a cigarette in a public park at 3am.
June 24, 2010 9:54 AM
June 24, 2010 09:54
Played Beethoven on my cello at 10:01 PM. This zero tolerance policy for curfew is tough.
June 24, 2010 2:40 PM
June 24, 2010 14:40
Snail darter murderer! Well, as The Freshman established, endangered species do taste better.
G, I think you're safe as long as you didn't cop to inhaling. btw, are prisons exempt from the no-smoking laws? I smell a lawsuit.
June 24, 2010 3:19 PM
June 24, 2010 15:19
I voted for McCain and got 4 years of hard times!
Tom Wms. |
June 24, 2010 4:46 PM
June 24, 2010 16:46
We were in for 4 years of hard times no matter what.
I'm thankful Obama won. If a Progressive Republican president made the exact same mistakes that Obama has, they'd be burning him at the stake, they'd be deflecting blame from Congress onto McCain, the Dems might very well have picked up more seats in November, & we'd be in a certain death spiral.
Remember New York congressional district 23.
The sad thing is I have little confidence that the establishment Republicans (i.e., the RNC led by Mike Steele) will be able to turn out a candidate that's anywhere close to what the majority of Americans want or need.
June 25, 2010 2:43 AM
June 25, 2010 02:43
"I came up with an alternate solution to the Arizona border problem that didn't sit too well with The Regime. My idea was to allow free passage to anybody who wanted to come across the border & allow them 4 full pieces of unchecked baggage, with one condition: They had to accept & use one-way bus passes to Washington, D.C. so the the m_____ f_____s up there who won't enforce the border & ensure national security will have to deal with this mess first hand."
June 25, 2010 2:53 AM
June 25, 2010 02:53
T: You're right about McCain. It's sad that we live in a free country with no choices.
I like your border solution.
Tom Wms |
June 25, 2010 7:53 AM
June 25, 2010 07:53
"My diner fried in trans-fats and left salt shakers on the tables."
June 25, 2010 6:25 PM
June 25, 2010 18:25
I thought that was a right smart idea myself.
I'm so impressed with myself that I'm downright surprised that FOX hasn't contacted John to try to find out who I am so they can hire me as an analyst...
...although I'm also afraid that I've gone too far & guys in black suits & sunglasses haven't seized John's site data so they can eliminate me.
"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me."
June 25, 2010 7:44 PM
June 25, 2010 19:44
I followed the President's example of kicking the ass of who's responsible for this mess - didn't realize the Secret Service would put me in a dump like this.
How else would we stop violins in the streets?
Dr. Bob |
June 25, 2010 9:25 PM
June 25, 2010 21:25
(1) Violin registration.
I got the pun (very clever). I just abhor violins.
June 25, 2010 9:37 PM
June 25, 2010 21:37
John Cox is a painter, cartoonist, and illustrator for hire. For information about purchasing existing work or commissioning new work, contact him by e-mail at john555cox [at] hotmail.com.
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