SAY WHAT? (John Cox Art)

ferry360:

Police have issued an Amber Alert for Charlie Brown & Linus Van Pelt. The two children were last seen being held captive by Dinosaur Media. Media is thought to be driving a old broken down business model that is red in color and leans precipitously to the left.

Posted by ferry360 | October 28, 2008 6:25 PM

Posted on October 28, 2008 18:25

Jim - PRS:

"OK, so the frost is on the punkin', now what about the other part?"

Posted by Jim - PRS | October 28, 2008 8:02 PM

Posted on October 28, 2008 20:02

Zachg56:

Authorities have found out the identities of dreaded pumpkin smashers that have been terrorizing the neighborhood recently. Police revealed them to be none other than the Peanuts.... More interesting news at 11 only on the Communist News Network

Posted by Zachg56 | October 28, 2008 8:09 PM

Posted on October 28, 2008 20:09

GarandFan:

Senator Obama has stated that he's found a new religion and will be appearing in a pumpkin patch near you.

Posted by GarandFan | October 28, 2008 9:09 PM

Posted on October 28, 2008 21:09

Cowboy:

On the side - Is that Buck Manly?

Posted by Cowboy | October 28, 2008 9:32 PM

Posted on October 28, 2008 21:32

Cowboy:

...and on the lighter side. For the 42nd year in a row Linus Van Pelt, a local business man, is maintaining his vigil waiting for 'THE GREAT PUMPKIN'. As always, his annual pilgrimage is joined by his life-long friend, Charlie Brown, who you will recall briefly became a kicker for the Cleveland Browns. His career was abruptly ended when he broke his back in the Superbowl when his holder pulled the ball way at the last second to throw a pass. WILL THIS BE THE YEAR? Will the the Great Pumpkin descend into the pumpkin patch to bring presents and candy to all the little tikes....stay tuned right here.

Posted by Cowboy | October 28, 2008 10:06 PM

Posted on October 28, 2008 22:06

Joe Palooka:

say what?... tom selleck?

Posted by Joe Palooka | October 28, 2008 11:51 PM

Posted on October 28, 2008 23:51

john Cox:

HEY COWBOY

Buck Manly does a little anchoring on the side.

Posted by john Cox | October 29, 2008 12:14 AM

Posted on October 29, 2008 00:14

john Cox:

"THIS JUST IN.....THE GREAT PUMPKIN IS CO-OPTED BY OBAMITES AND SAID TO BE PIMPING FOR THE LEFT....DETAILS AT 11."

Posted by john Cox | October 29, 2008 12:19 AM

Posted on October 29, 2008 00:19

Terwiliger:

Many of you have tuned in to see our featured report about an urban legend revolving around the story of “Big-headed misfits patiently waiting in growing places in hopes of detecting the Great Pumpkin.”

Operating under the belief that we would be bringing you a pointless puff-piece, we were all fired up & ready to go…

We have since learned that an organization known only as “The Truth Police” hacked into our information system & planted an in-depth report that is actually titled “Fatheaded dimwits prematurely flocking to polling places in hopes of electing the Great Bumpkin.”

What? Somebody hacked into our teleprompter too? I---said---WHAT? Uh…we’re experiencing technical difficulties here, folks. We’ll be taking a short commercial break…

What? Say what? Oh yeah… Don’t forget…

Vote early…& vote often!

Posted by Terwiliger | October 29, 2008 12:38 AM

Posted on October 29, 2008 00:38

UberNerd:

...In other news, a cult has recently sprung up where the members apparently are worshipping a pagan fertility idol whose earthly avatar appears to be a large gord or pumpkin. Two of the members, seen here in our shocking footage are engaging in what could be described as...

Posted by UberNerd | October 29, 2008 9:36 AM

Posted on October 29, 2008 09:36

UberNerd:

...In other news, a cult has recently sprung up where the members apparently are worshipping a pagan fertility idol whose earthly avatar appears to be a large gord or pumpkin. Two of the members, seen here in our shocking footage are engaging in what could be described as...

Posted by UberNerd | October 29, 2008 9:36 AM

Posted on October 29, 2008 09:36

snowdog:

Today, Senator Obama said that he plans a middle-class tax cut during the first year of his presidency. Local resident Linus Van Pelt believes him and has stationed himself in the pumpkin patch to wait for it.

Posted by snowdog | October 29, 2008 9:42 AM

Posted on October 29, 2008 09:42

Terwiliger:

When asked to comment about the recent flurry of comments posted about them involving political candidates' various policies, affiliations, & religious beliefs, one of these boys--a delightfully precocious little fellow known to many as Linus Van Pelt--simply responded:

"There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin."

Charles M. Schulz
November 26, 1922 – February 12, 2000

Posted by Terwiliger | October 30, 2008 4:15 AM

Posted on October 30, 2008 04:15

Terwiliger:

...then his big-headed cohort chimed in:

"Linus, the junior anchor who prepped us for this interview said it was O.K. to discuss politics as long as we didn't raise any questions about Barack Obama's tax policy, fiscal policy, foreign policy, political philosophy, or 'anything else that might lead people to realize how harmful a president he will be, or generally anything that might make him look bad'... GOOD GRIEF."

I said WHAT?!

GET ME THE PRODUCER! I WANT HIS HEAD ON A PLATTER! YOU GUYS TOLD ME YOU HAD THIS I.T. SECURITY THING ALL WRAPPED UP! IT'S NOT MY FAULT I CAN'T THINK & READ AT THE SAME TIME!

Posted by Terwiliger | October 30, 2008 4:37 AM

Posted on October 30, 2008 04:37

GarandFan:

Wonder if Linus gets a 'tingle up his leg' when he talks about the Great Pumpkin.

Posted by GarandFan | October 30, 2008 11:07 AM

Posted on October 30, 2008 11:07

Tom Wms.:

This just in: Two underaged voters were caught earlier this evening in a pumpkin patch looking for an "ACORN" squash...News at 10.

Posted by Tom Wms. | November 1, 2008 11:59 PM

Posted on November 1, 2008 23:59

Terwiliger:

Year after year, Linus Van Pelt has stoicly manned his post in the pumpkin patch...patiently waiting for the enigmatic "Great Pumpkin."

This year, a loser-sort named Charles Brown tried in vain to get his friend Linus to abandon his long-held ideal for a NEW "distributor"...

....the "Great Cauliflower Ears".

According to Mr. Brown, the "'Great Cauliflower Ears' is really going to spread the wealth around. He taxes the the rich to give to the poor so that everything is fair & good & Democratic. It doesn't matter how hard you work or how much time you put in. All that matters at the end of the day is how much stuff you have. All of that stuff about 'unalienable rights' & 'life, liberty, & the pursuit of happiness is just rhetoric."

Mr. Van Pelt responded, "Isn't that the same thing as stealing?"

To which Mr. Brown replied, "I don't think it's stealing if you call it taxing."

Then Mr. Van Pelt posed the question, "Didn't a guy named Shakespeare write, 'A rose by any other name would smell as sweet'?"

To which Mr. Brown answered, "Don't ask me. I was indoctrinated in a gubmint skrool. The only two books I've ever read are 'Their Eyes Were Watching God' & 'Fear of Flying'; by the way--I hear that Erica Jong chick is really stressed out at the prospect of Obama losing."

Mr. Van Pelt added, "Anyway, that isn't the only thing he's spreading. He's spread something around so deep that I heard my dad say, 'Linus--roll up your trousers... it's too late to save your shoes.'"

"Then I said, 'Dad, I wear shortpants. I don't have anything to roll up."

"Then he said, 'Don't smart off at me, little mister. Now get in this house--your mother has supper on the table--and take those shoes off & leave them outside. You're not tracking that mess on your mother's clean floors."

To which Mr. Brown simply said, "Good grief."

Posted by Terwiliger | November 2, 2008 5:55 AM

Posted on November 2, 2008 05:55

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