« Look! A Real Gig! | Main | Say What? »



Comments (15)


McCain calls Barney's bluff.


You're challenging us right! A little, discombobulated kid, scrabble squares everywhere, a black eye, and another noble citizen from the zeanofart system. My god! It's a good thing you didn't put a gun in his hand. He he he he.

OK I'm working on it!


Gun? Looks like at least a .380 finger there!



He could handle my 10mm and splatter that zeanofart's head all over the little Barry loving librarian.

Yuk! What a comment, even if I made it myself. OK T. You're all tee'd up for the overkill speech. And by leaving that bit of bait the floor, maybe I should bow out of this one early. he he he.


Again with the guns???

Just Cowboys and GarandFans being cowboys and garand fans, John. :)

I'm not saying that that kid's beat down was deserved, but has anyone consulted a zeanofarting dictionary? Zoqxykx sounds familiar.


I wasn't gonna go there...but since you obviously want me to:

A 10mm is only overkill when over-penetration is a concern, as in populous settings (like a CARNY)--especially with all those CHIRRENS around. If I were choosing a piece for myself, I'd lean towards that end of the spectrum over the "pea-shooter" class.

I like the 10mm, but most of them have "too much grip" for me (& they're harder to feed in these parts then the "standard" calibers are). I'd bet that if it wasn't for the surplus stock of Berettas & 1911s, the military would have switched by now (that & the fact that our beloved gubmint 'grabbers don't want civilian prices falling for .45s & 9mms).

Those little Walthers (& their knock-offs) are O.K. if you HAVE to go that small or if you're on a budget--but if I needed a downsized frame, I'd much rather have a Glock 36 (since I don't need to downsize, I'm happy with my Mossberg & #4 buck--or a slug barrel).

Anyway...as big as that zeanofart's head is, I don't think over-pentetration is going to be a problem.

AND...that cheatin' so-&-so deserves it for putting that extra "X" up his sleeve. There's only one "X" on a Scrabble board, & little Johnny had already used the blank tile for an "I" when he put "Obam_" in front of "nation" to make "obamination.

So what if little Johnny can't spell. The irony of associating "abomination" with "Obama nation" is uncanny.


The unfortunate painfull truth is that the kid is just another product of our government schools. Not only does he not know that there is a zeanofarting dictionary, he's struggling with the English dictionary. The zeanofart was speaking languages from 4 star systems by the time he was 5 and was doing topology by the time he was 10.


Got to agree with Cowboy. The educational system has let Johnny down. Any 2nd grade zeanofart is already fluent in at least 4 languages and doing crossword puzzles on slang is mandatory for certification. "Zoqxykx" is the 3rd person plural of "zoqx" in the Quapart language, meaning to borrow a sufficient amount of falfall to see one thru a Vnxyart winter cycle. Granted, not many people travel into the Marquardt System, but this does not mean they or their language do not exist.


Are you telling me that now--in addition to Spanish--& in some cases Ebonics--American chirrens are expected to be fluent in Zeanofartic? (or -ese, or -ish, or -ian...Sorry, but I'm a product of compulsory gubmint skrool.)

The official Scrabble rules state that acceptable words are any words which appear in a dictionary of the language that the board is manufactured in. The rules go on to state that players are to agree beforehand on the version of the dictionary to be used in the game.

This is obviously an English-language board, as Zeanofarts--well-known to be blind followers of the Kool-Aid Left--abolished the letter "W" from their language 8 years ago & now denote the "double U" sound with 2 "U"s (i.e., "UU"). They originally used "2U", but shortly thereafter they changed "2U" to "U2" in order to promote the acceptance of their language among sniveling idiots (the easiest group of people to get to adopt idiotic ideas). They later settled on "UU" because Milton-Bradley (along with their parent company Hasbro, who are players in the Vast Literate-Wing Conspiracy) thought it was just plain stupid for an alphabet to have numbers in it.

Anyway...Foreign words are only permissible in cases where those words have been accepted in the general lexicon of the language & now appear in the dictionary. I've Googled every English dictionary there is, & there isn't a single word of Zeanofart origin to be found in any of them.

This multi-lingual "PC" crap got's-to-go. Of course, LEGAL aliens are welcome in the U.S. as long as they want to abide by our laws...& they ought be fluent in English. If you're going to another country, then by all means learn their language...

Jon Stewart (doing his impersonation of Sarah Palin):

Why thayats jest selly. The Erth is the center of the YOOniverse, theer is ONly intelligent life on Erth, aynd the O-fishel language of the YOOniverse is "The King's English".

Jon's a little douche-bag
Short and stout
His head is the bulb
And his mouth is the spout
When he gets all puffed up
Watch him shout
Just squeeze his head
And the bilge will spout


Who the hell let Stewart in? I thought this place had some class!


This place ain't all that exclusive. Those rotten spammers drop in from time to time. Rex "the brain-trust" Crouch got in. However, after this post, I vow to never mention Rex again. I'm not fostering publicity for an Obamaniac.


Gee whiz...This thread died out quick. I thought that the topics of the intellectual prowess of Zeanofarts compared to publik skrool kids--along with the rules of Scrabble--would be fertile ground for more riffing. After all--the Flinchy thread was fun.

I'll try to jump-start it with this:

Cowboy is technically a little more accurate about the education of the Zeanofart than Garandfan was. Zeanofarts have no centralized school system, & Zeanofart parents take a much more active role in the raising of their offspring than the typical American humanoid.

Much like our country's founders, the education function is performed mainly by parents working alongside their children--& in more elite circles, by privately employed intellectuals (often very learned retired Zeanofarts)--& like the rest of the civilized world, there is no assumption that all chirrens are equally educable & that all teachers should be earning 6-figure incomes. There is plenty of private charity to fund the education of less-fortunate Zeonafarts who did not win life's lottery; since Zeanofarts take a strict constructionist view of their Constitution (which is actually based on our original Constitution--less the 3/5ths clause & any other reference to race or sex), they don't have to pay the salaries of 745,392 gubmint agency employees & administrators before a single dollar can be spent on actual education costs.

Few people know that in early America, students often entered college at 14 or 15. A number of those old "dead white guys" entered college by the age of 12. One of them was accepted at one of the "Old Ivies" at the age of 9, but waited until he was older to attend. I'm not telling you who it was, but he probably went to school with Horace Mann's great-great-great+grandfather (wedgies really hurt when you're wearing wool underwear, & you can't imagine what it's like getting a swirly in a two-holer).


This begs the question, "If Zeanofarts are so well-educated, then whey are do they associate with Dems?"

A live Zeanofart was found at the Roswell crash. It was nursed back to health, & it willingly submitted to barage after barage of tests as long as it was supplied with unlimited amounts of ACORNs, Tabbouleh, & Kool-Aid.

Scientists detemined that while the Zeanofart brain has computer-like storage & recall capabilities, a Zeanofart couldn't think it's way out of a wet paper bag (well, it could, but it took around 11 years). Resultingly, Zeanofarts make excellent engineers. They are able to keep the spacecraft built by their ancestors in ship shape, but since they evolved into Zeanofarts, their progress has stagnated. Simply put, they are detail-minded with no ideas.

The scientists hypothesized that if they could splice Zeanofart & human genes, the result could possibly be a über-human.

The experiment failed miserably, resulting in two mutations: (1) a number of large, elusive ape-like creatures (known regionally as Bigfoot, Sasquatch, Yeti, Yowie, Chupacabra, etc.); & (2) a number of smart-aleck know-nothings with mostly human characteristics (Bill Maher, Michael Moore, Joy Bahar, Jon Stewart, etc.)--human equivalents of donkeys.


John Cox is a painter, cartoonist, and illustrator for hire. For information about purchasing existing work or commissioning new work, contact him by e-mail at john555cox [at] hotmail.com.

About This Page

This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on September 26, 2008 5:07 PM.

The previous post in this blog was Look! A Real Gig!.

The next post in this blog is Say What?.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

Powered by
Movable Type 3.35